SanE or inSanE??

assalamualaikum wbt.

i have come to jot down some things that i do not really know what they are..actually i've been so totally damn bored like ever and i just do not know why *bosan yg TERamat2 bosan hanya Dia yg tau...aih..it is kinda weird coz when i'm nearer to the 'finish line' (to end dis semester), i've been more lonely..well, in this case, lonelier than evaaa!!!!

this could be coz each one of us are very2 busy with their final year project..and me??busy la jugak but not always..mengadap laptop 24jam pun bukannye leh datang mencurah2 idea nak writing tesis kan??ok..there are just many possibilities to think of..i must be forgotten..or maybe all of a sudden i've become the VVUP (very very unimportant person)..or maybe they just don't want to disturb me as they know i would be busy..but am i??haha..couldn't answer that one..

if dulu my fon asyik tot-tet-tot-tet..now, nak dengar bunyi pun susah..paling2 tak my mum jela yg call hari2..bosan2 pun call dia (actually miscall je..smpai membebel2 org tua 2 ckp kredit cpt abis coz gayut sama i..hahaha)..well, what could i do rite??

actually there are lotsa work to do but like i've stated before, my eyes sore asyik ngadap skrin lame2..plus, kinda not in a good spirit these days..tomorrow ada presentation and i should be cracking my head preparing it..but slide dah siap..text ucapan??aish..halfway done..Mr Mood has get away (should've put him in prison while i still can..huuu)

k2..enough membebel..it's not like my life is going to change in a split second..impossible la tiba2 je after siap tulis entry ni ada orang yang akan text me or something like it..is it??haha..we'll see..and please don't give in too much hope..sobs..

enough for now..tatitu frens ;p

what we called L.O.V.E

Love is crazy

Love is blind

It sounds scary

Still that is what we want

To be hurt

To be in pain

Are the obstacles that need to be faced

To win the game that we played

The game of gaining love

An eternal love which what people seek

And just playing around

Is undeniable for those who do not bother

Love is unique

Love is weird

It sometimes could be unexplainable

It comes and goes without any notices

We just need to feel the presence deep inside our heart

But still

Sometimes it could be mistaken with the other kins

Like and admire who closely related

Together with love they are perfectly confusing

Yet faith and strength rely on one another

From they we shall seek for the road would be clear

But love is true

There is nothing we could do

Only strong will and hope will help us through

Take the challenges with an open heart

Never be afraid and never hesitate

Or love might fallen apart as you are lost.....                           SZN, 2010

sOleMn heArt

A heart is hard to understand

It is hard to explain

And also difficult to explore

What is inside will be kept silently

Lay down without sounds nor light

It might get lost

And there is no way out

And now it is time to come back to faith

Stop straying around

And ask for directions

Ask for help

And there shall be a guidance

That lead a way out

Out of the silent

The loneliness

The sorrow

Yet the heart will finally find its voice

To speak out loud

How it feels inside

And how much pain had tore it apart

What was kept from our consciousness

As now we get the true picture

As now we clearly see and know

So take the appropriate actions

And off we go.....                                                    SZN, 2010

am i nEedeD?

Is it necessary to fix broken things?

What have been done some sort of not worth it

Nothing seems to work out although after great tries

Sometimes to feel like fools and idiots are so common

To work on things which held unsure returns

The lesson learn, it is so easy to break something

But to fix it?

What a great task

Who on earth would had that kind of thinking and done all those silly things?

Gaining impermanent fun and satisfaction?

Now facing the consequences are much more hurting

Things will not be able to get better

And that is what to be sure of

No matter when the trials took place

Now, then or even the moments afterward

Could never bring back that same old person

Back to where he used to belong which is so not possible

There are no efforts put in forgetting the past

What have been done worth nothing

As they are not much appreciated

Through it all, am I needed?                                                          SZN, 2008

UntiTLeD

How to live such life?

So many things to do

So many things to say

So many memories of the past

So many guilts

So many harsh words from others dissatisfaction

Some just throw hatred straight to the face

Some just simply ignore the feelings

Is it possible to live such life?

Chances are what some people needed

What we want is not usually what we get

Some say try harder and you could make it

But still no matter how hard the try is

Not even one chance could be grabbed

How to live such life?

So many obstacles

So many disturbances

So many lies

So many excuses

How to live such life?

It's quite impossible to figure it out

Let time decides what's gonna happen

Eventhough regrets are all around

Try to catch the breath

While the air is free

Let go of it if it's not able to be kept

Do not ever chase it

Just let it runs wild and free

It will be back if it is yours
If not it is never was......                                              SZN, 2008                                            

the PerSon i OncE kNew

This person

Of once I knew

Of once I liked to be with

We used to laugh

We used to have fun

We used to lie to each other

We even used to cry

We used to do many things together

As many things we had tried

We created memories

Sweet nor sour

Good nor bad

That are just impossible to forget

Shall I say that they might vanish

Without the willingness of the heart

And yet it goes

And let the wind blows

Far and far away

They might have to be

I tried to stop but there it goes

Flipping away out of the window

Yet I might say

Things do not work out

There left the emptiness

Of what we never want

The person I know is never the same

The differences are now in everything

That I never expect it is this terrifying

The person I know is now the person I once knew

No more things to share

No more jokes to laugh

No more tears to cry

As what we used to try

Things will change

People will too

As we need to be prepared for the new

I will not cry

I shall not die

I will stay put to the memories remain

I shall wait if things ever get better

Let time decides as what you have said

And I shall miss you

The person that I once knew....                                  SZN, 2010

kEseWeLaN meLanDa..

salam. 1st skali hari ni trase nak membebel lam malay language. dictionary i dah lempaq jauh2. tak larat nak membelit lidah and saraf2 otak. hoho

ok. kenapa tajuk entry ni ada cam kurang enak didengar jek?? oh ya!! must be kerana demam final year projek. wayar2 ada putus and fius lak kebaaBOOMMM!!! hahaha. bace ayat 1st pun korang mesti dah boley agak yang penulis entry ni brade lam condition yang agak tak stabil. huhihu *xkunafi

final year projek nye pasal, kegilaan terpakse dilayan biarpon tuannye badan tau otak tengah mereng. tapi keja tetap nak kena setel. lau tak buat ti agak2 sapela yang nak tolong buatkn. ye idak?? haha *ayat poyo bukan men, tp time buat keje rase je nk hantuk kpale kt dinding (klepap2!!)

skarang baru siap slideshow tuk presentation rabu ni. aish. berdebar2 lak ase ati ala2 macam orang nak datang masuk minang. hahaha *bajet penah mngalami ;p

nak kena tunggu siap present kot baru nak stat balik ngan tesis. rest pale jap. ti nak kena wat skrip kot2 ketaq lutut ti then ilang sgala jadah nak diperkata. silap2 nak kena tambah slide agi. harap2 akak senior dah puas hati ngan kejaku yang agak nak ok tapi diri sendiri tak brape nak sure ok ke tak..

isk2. banyak la jugak benda2 pelik berlaku sejak kebelakangan ni. ewah2!! and gerak ati or white people cakap intuition boley pakai. haha. benda2 yang tak kusangka terjadi. ada la 3 ke 4 benda. and ada 1 benda ni yang memang tak sure patut hepy or what. tapi macam hepy je. masalah ati, prasaan, jiwa, raga and bakul la korang. hehe. tapi nak hepy2 pon takde pasai. bukannye dapat pon. eh2!! dapat ke tak lak. cakap tak srupe bikin. cakap dah tak nak dia. hahaha

aish. jangan dilayan sangat otak yang ngah sewel ni korang2. ti makin parah. haha. tak sabar lak asenye nak tunggu saat kesewelan berhenti seketika *t abis degree la..

agi nak cakap ape??owh ya. balik hari tu singgah kat RnR Bintang Hijau. amat banyak insect yang pelik2 and unidentified *coz xtau name2 dia, name je zoologist aku ni..hahaha. ti la yer bila rajin akan diupload ke cni. tak berkeinginan sangat coz gambar2 tak brape nak jelas. kamera cap ayam..hahaha

k la dlu. saya mohon berundur diri. maaf dipinta jika ada salah dan silap *haha..gaya orang taip surat cinta?? k2 dah. pening ni. mau baring lu. silap2 esok pagi baru kembali ke alam nyata. hahaha. k2. tatitu ;p