-H _ _ STORY-

The title up there would be relevant for both 'history' nor 'herstory'. right after the word was mentioned, some will start to yawn or watsoeva. one's used to say, this one thing cannot be changed not even with all kinds of treasures in the world. 'their stories' would likely be both good nor bad as one cannot just choose which one to be written in their journal of life.

Good memories would gladly be kept in ones mind in contrary to bad ones (a diary should also do the tricks..but beware of stalkers!!)

apparently, no matter how hard you try to manage a runaway plan, nothing would possibly work. but hey!! there is one.. its either you have a hard knock on your head which causes memory loss or Alzheimer would do!


in this case, some would think that 'i would like to take her place with that kind of situation'.. of coz that is from the bottom of the heart. rationally thinking, a stressful condition like that would definitely be avoided. nobody wants to feel sick or being abnormal rite?! but one's heart could never be predicted. that is why, the moral of the story is... please think before you leap (is that a correct one?? isk. nevamind ;p )  

Some mistaken steps would affect one's life in a blink of an eye. suicide is not an option. is it worth to do such thing? to take away your life, the greatest treasure that was given to you by The Almighty, is it that simple? its something that maybe you have overlooked. but the truth is, there is nothing much more valuable in this life compared to all kinds of treasures in the world (ding!!!! repetition here..) and problems?? well, when there's a will then there's a way (whoever create this saying's must be very familiar with the succession of his or her escape plans ;p )

H _ _ STORY..... the good ones that are eternally kept in one's mind would indirectly help them, i mean innerly helpful (this would include lighten up their day, the whole day or maybe the whole week and even the whole year etc. ) to redesign or retouched or improvised the memory with itsy bitsy details which contribute to happiness is not illegal at all (after all its their memories..MYOB!! haha) but it's good to ensure that things would not be too much or it would critically injured the memories' keeper itself..(wtf??) 

the bad ones?? well, about that. since nothing could be done to change it, then just keep it safely at the deepest, hollowest, darkest and 'in the middle of nowhere' chamber of your heart. sometimes it might mingle in your head, just to remind you that some things that are not yet done had already happened in your past which greatly terrible and need to be avoided. so, bad memories is not so bad at all as it keeps guiding you throughout your precious life.

hmmm..enough with all the blabbering (as there is nothing more to blab.. even, so much hard work is needed for this single entry..aish..not the kind of writing things at all) another moral of the story.... if there is no downs in life, then one will never know true happiness..

PS: really need better internet connections..huuu

its TRUE..

all of sudden its TRUE?? lack of ideas right now actually.. but i'll try.. ehem2.. talking bout attitude.. well, ase2nye kn, if attitude sumone xbtul, boleh ke nk mtadbir?? xkire la kn others or sape2.. diri sndiri pn xdpt nk organize asenye..tp tu la kn..some people they juz don't realize or saje buat2 xpaham as they are really comfortable wit who they are and how they had been..org bg advice pn xnk trima..lbih2 lg lau yg dh brumur..lgpun my dad used to say, if u cant change people before they reach 40 ke 50??lupe dh, then juz lupekan je niat suci kalian..haha

tp xkesah la kn..org ckp if xde variety then dunia xbrseri..tol gk kn??so, for them yg suffer this 'unhandled personality', make sure u guys make anyone near u to suffer less.. have mercy okeh?? and for them yg agk2 cm dri 2 hebat wit a great attitude, jgn lak cpt sgt mlatah ngn dorgnye kkurangan..try ur very best to adapt and change what u cud change ONLY *melalut2 dh..

ada gk yg kdg2 ase diri dorg superb..tp nk own powerfulnye confident pn bajet la kn..kdg2 mnyampah gk lau asyik d 'bossy' ke hulu ke hilir..pliz do consider org2 yg agk cm kurg confident ni..xpenah tfikir ke dat they might have brilliant ideas jgak??it's juz dat u need more time to feel them wit ur heart *sory la..byk g bnda yg nk kna wt instead of wasting our time nk dgr gna ati..hahak

anyway,people are people..the differences that make this world goes round *btul ke??*..tp agk la coz lg skali dtegaskn yg ia mjadikn dunia lbih bseri..if not msti dull je..cm lam muvie "The Invention of Lying" *credit to him*..sume org xpndai mnipu tp ttap ada yg kecewa and sdih2 when they need to cope wit 100% truth..moral of d story is menipu jgak ada kbaikannye..bak kte org tipu sunat..hahak

so, actually pe yg dpt d'conclude' from entry ni??emm..sila byk2 menipu..eh2..bukannn..jom same2 baiki diri..pesanan penaja kt sume and xlupe gk kt diri sndiri yg msih byk kkurangn ni..berkat ksabaran and ksgguhan, insyaAllah bjaya kn..slamat maju jaya lah ek..heee..terformal la pulak kn..k2 dh melalut..tah pape la kmu ni iwa..penampaq mau??hahaha..kayh..tamat la dlu dcni..smoga byk idea tk tlis entry lg..ciao~

tuptap tuptap...

what sounds could that be??haha..saje2 je gedik2 bosan2 xdak keja kn..ececeh..mentang2 la tesis dh siap..hahahahahaha (gelak pnjang *mood devil*)

sedar xsedar (yg tengah2 jln hri tu agk xsedar lgsung dh coz koma sket2..exaggerate okeh!).... well2..tesis dh siap..fully dhla..hri ni mau print anotha copy then done! finish! anta kt ofis..xnk tgk dh! huh! hahahah..bajet ja biapon kna tgk lg n get well-prepared 4 viva..however, kna la balik dlu kn lepaskn rindu n watsoeva stelah lme kgersangan kt Penang neh (even mcm xbrape nk lme sgt la..hri 2 dh blk kot..tp xpa..exception..yeeehaaaa!!!) balik pn hri ahad la kot..ni silap2 pn balik tgn kosong kn..tp melampao la kalo cmtu..at lis prepare sket2 4 exam french n saiko (dat would be on 4th n 5th may *lmbt bebenor lgik*)

actually, lpas dh abs tesis sume br la ase cm nk sedar dri sket bhwasenya idop sy sem ni agak xtrarah n xtrurus..tdo bngun mkn then tdo lagik..bngun tdo mkn mkn..tdo tdo (jgn xbngun2 sudah.....) hihik..pgi petang siang mlm stiap hri stiap mggu stiap bulan (4 dis sem jela kn) cm sama ja..bak kata rumateku 'dh ase cm idup ni lgsung xproduktif!!' adeh..btul kot pe yg dia ckp..ak pn ada ase gk..tp bila je statement tsebut dkluarkn, cpt2 turn off tlinga jdik mode silent n pura2 bizi ngn FYP (*wth*) hahaha

pape pn idup yg cm xdak motif ni hmpir brakhir (bnyi cm dh nk mninggalkn dunia ja..isk..jgn2..insyaAllah pjg umoq gi) yela kn..tinggal exam 2 paper, viva, anta hard cover thesis then finally chowsinchi la ak dr USM ni..tggu grad je..heee (smbil sengih2 wt2 xingt byk bnda2 stressful mnanti kt umah..master of coz..huu) msti rmai yg tsgt hepy giler mngalahkn ak yg hepy hampir2 nk giler dh ni since ada yg nk kawen right after abs stdy ni..wah2..trut hepy 4 them la even ak dh kna sound awl2 ngn dady 'iwa, lps abs blaja br boley kawen! ada paham??' hahaha..maunye tgelak dgr..tp 2 la..eh2 silap..bukan tp..hahaha..tau xleh kawen skrg..mumy ngn dady mau ak blaja tggi2 lu then br pk sal 2, since calon pn dh ada..hahaha

ak ni xabs2 nk gelak besar kn??bak kte ppatah yg ak wt sndri or xsure if cilok sape2 nye, org tgh hepy kn..xheran la..haha..mne xhepynye, stkt ni sume bjln lncar la..okey je go wit d flow (bak kte si dia) heheh..family ak dh tau n dh ok la, tmbh2 dpt backup lg..btmbh2 la hepynye..mmg xnyesal la stkt ni..org kte failure is not yet the ending and it is not yet the time for you to give up if you haven't died trying..jmpe org yg slh is the way of God teaching people on how to appreciate the best one yet to come..kalo skali gagal tu xyah la nk sebok2 telan racun tikus ke, ubat gegat ke, ubat nyamuk ke..it's not the end of the world..t if Dia dh tarik sume ksenangan n bg kiamat dunia ni br la sebok2 nk repent la hape kn?? ish2..skali lg pesanan penaja, just go wit d flow..lau xdak 2 jdoh xsmpai lg la 2..insyaAllah He knows best..

pjg amat lcture kt ats..mentang2 jarang p lcture sem ni, mhbiskn mse lak kt blik ni wt text tk lcture kn..haha..poyo je..kurang la sket krisauan skrg..moga2 dpmudahkn sgala oleh Dia in anything i do and wil do..aminnnn..ngntok la plak..satg kls..br nk tdo..ape daaa..huuu..tamat suda lcture x ni..jgn segan2 dtg bce lgik tau even air liur dh mleleh2 and eyeballs hmpir tcabut mnahan ngantuk..hahaha..k la frens..ciou~

the suffer RING??

hey guys.. entry kali ni jom cakap sal suffering. or to be more dramatic i would like to put it as SUFFER RING!! hehe. there are many kinds of suffering. of coz it would mean that sumone is trapped with something that they dont like. tu la pasai terpakse suffer tuh!! ye idak??

ok.. my suffering is what?? currently mesti la final yer project *korang mesti dah mnyampah kn asl ak tulis entry je msti pasai fyp..haha

well, to be true, my suffering will end bout 3wiks lgi..want d exact date?? ok then, 10th of March 2011..haha..i need to submit my full thesis to my supervisor (Prof. Zulfigar Yasin...*femes jap name prof kt cni :)  ) so, i need to berhempas pulas siapkan everythng, dat is for thesis bout 55% lgi kot..intro n methods dh siap..tggl kna wt correction since d title has changed..

current title "The Diversity and Distribution of Cyclophoridae in Peninsular Malaysia" which is better coz now need to focus on 1 family je..genera equal to 6 and species lak 15..huhihu..nk kna edit data, discussion n len2..hoho

3wiks lgi......sguh2 hendak la bsabar sbanyak2nye..bak kate prof, nnti nk enjoy pun enjoy la..3wiks ni berkorban la evrythng..pakwe makwe muvies etc. letak tepi lu..work hard and get an A..d only way to prove dat you have work hard is when your thesis is great..coz dorang takkan tau eventho korang berhujan berpanas..huuuu..

so, thats how it shud be prof.. and insyaAllah i will do my very best!! *dgn pnuh smgt tuuu!! haha..prepare wahai suffer 'ring'..i will take you off in just anotha 3wiks time..in d meantime, you enjoy your moment and i need to work hard to get you off!!! huhihu

k frens..ciao lu yer..bonne journee and au revoir!!! ;)

SanE or inSanE??

assalamualaikum wbt.

i have come to jot down some things that i do not really know what they are..actually i've been so totally damn bored like ever and i just do not know why *bosan yg TERamat2 bosan hanya Dia yg tau...aih..it is kinda weird coz when i'm nearer to the 'finish line' (to end dis semester), i've been more lonely..well, in this case, lonelier than evaaa!!!!

this could be coz each one of us are very2 busy with their final year project..and me??busy la jugak but not always..mengadap laptop 24jam pun bukannye leh datang mencurah2 idea nak writing tesis kan??ok..there are just many possibilities to think of..i must be forgotten..or maybe all of a sudden i've become the VVUP (very very unimportant person)..or maybe they just don't want to disturb me as they know i would be busy..but am i??haha..couldn't answer that one..

if dulu my fon asyik tot-tet-tot-tet..now, nak dengar bunyi pun susah..paling2 tak my mum jela yg call hari2..bosan2 pun call dia (actually miscall je..smpai membebel2 org tua 2 ckp kredit cpt abis coz gayut sama i..hahaha)..well, what could i do rite??

actually there are lotsa work to do but like i've stated before, my eyes sore asyik ngadap skrin lame2..plus, kinda not in a good spirit these days..tomorrow ada presentation and i should be cracking my head preparing it..but slide dah siap..text ucapan??aish..halfway done..Mr Mood has get away (should've put him in prison while i still can..huuu)

k2..enough membebel..it's not like my life is going to change in a split second..impossible la tiba2 je after siap tulis entry ni ada orang yang akan text me or something like it..is it??haha..we'll see..and please don't give in too much hope..sobs..

enough for now..tatitu frens ;p

what we called L.O.V.E

Love is crazy

Love is blind

It sounds scary

Still that is what we want

To be hurt

To be in pain

Are the obstacles that need to be faced

To win the game that we played

The game of gaining love

An eternal love which what people seek

And just playing around

Is undeniable for those who do not bother

Love is unique

Love is weird

It sometimes could be unexplainable

It comes and goes without any notices

We just need to feel the presence deep inside our heart

But still

Sometimes it could be mistaken with the other kins

Like and admire who closely related

Together with love they are perfectly confusing

Yet faith and strength rely on one another

From they we shall seek for the road would be clear

But love is true

There is nothing we could do

Only strong will and hope will help us through

Take the challenges with an open heart

Never be afraid and never hesitate

Or love might fallen apart as you are lost.....                           SZN, 2010

sOleMn heArt

A heart is hard to understand

It is hard to explain

And also difficult to explore

What is inside will be kept silently

Lay down without sounds nor light

It might get lost

And there is no way out

And now it is time to come back to faith

Stop straying around

And ask for directions

Ask for help

And there shall be a guidance

That lead a way out

Out of the silent

The loneliness

The sorrow

Yet the heart will finally find its voice

To speak out loud

How it feels inside

And how much pain had tore it apart

What was kept from our consciousness

As now we get the true picture

As now we clearly see and know

So take the appropriate actions

And off we go.....                                                    SZN, 2010

am i nEedeD?

Is it necessary to fix broken things?

What have been done some sort of not worth it

Nothing seems to work out although after great tries

Sometimes to feel like fools and idiots are so common

To work on things which held unsure returns

The lesson learn, it is so easy to break something

But to fix it?

What a great task

Who on earth would had that kind of thinking and done all those silly things?

Gaining impermanent fun and satisfaction?

Now facing the consequences are much more hurting

Things will not be able to get better

And that is what to be sure of

No matter when the trials took place

Now, then or even the moments afterward

Could never bring back that same old person

Back to where he used to belong which is so not possible

There are no efforts put in forgetting the past

What have been done worth nothing

As they are not much appreciated

Through it all, am I needed?                                                          SZN, 2008

UntiTLeD

How to live such life?

So many things to do

So many things to say

So many memories of the past

So many guilts

So many harsh words from others dissatisfaction

Some just throw hatred straight to the face

Some just simply ignore the feelings

Is it possible to live such life?

Chances are what some people needed

What we want is not usually what we get

Some say try harder and you could make it

But still no matter how hard the try is

Not even one chance could be grabbed

How to live such life?

So many obstacles

So many disturbances

So many lies

So many excuses

How to live such life?

It's quite impossible to figure it out

Let time decides what's gonna happen

Eventhough regrets are all around

Try to catch the breath

While the air is free

Let go of it if it's not able to be kept

Do not ever chase it

Just let it runs wild and free

It will be back if it is yours
If not it is never was......                                              SZN, 2008                                            

the PerSon i OncE kNew

This person

Of once I knew

Of once I liked to be with

We used to laugh

We used to have fun

We used to lie to each other

We even used to cry

We used to do many things together

As many things we had tried

We created memories

Sweet nor sour

Good nor bad

That are just impossible to forget

Shall I say that they might vanish

Without the willingness of the heart

And yet it goes

And let the wind blows

Far and far away

They might have to be

I tried to stop but there it goes

Flipping away out of the window

Yet I might say

Things do not work out

There left the emptiness

Of what we never want

The person I know is never the same

The differences are now in everything

That I never expect it is this terrifying

The person I know is now the person I once knew

No more things to share

No more jokes to laugh

No more tears to cry

As what we used to try

Things will change

People will too

As we need to be prepared for the new

I will not cry

I shall not die

I will stay put to the memories remain

I shall wait if things ever get better

Let time decides as what you have said

And I shall miss you

The person that I once knew....                                  SZN, 2010

kEseWeLaN meLanDa..

salam. 1st skali hari ni trase nak membebel lam malay language. dictionary i dah lempaq jauh2. tak larat nak membelit lidah and saraf2 otak. hoho

ok. kenapa tajuk entry ni ada cam kurang enak didengar jek?? oh ya!! must be kerana demam final year projek. wayar2 ada putus and fius lak kebaaBOOMMM!!! hahaha. bace ayat 1st pun korang mesti dah boley agak yang penulis entry ni brade lam condition yang agak tak stabil. huhihu *xkunafi

final year projek nye pasal, kegilaan terpakse dilayan biarpon tuannye badan tau otak tengah mereng. tapi keja tetap nak kena setel. lau tak buat ti agak2 sapela yang nak tolong buatkn. ye idak?? haha *ayat poyo bukan men, tp time buat keje rase je nk hantuk kpale kt dinding (klepap2!!)

skarang baru siap slideshow tuk presentation rabu ni. aish. berdebar2 lak ase ati ala2 macam orang nak datang masuk minang. hahaha *bajet penah mngalami ;p

nak kena tunggu siap present kot baru nak stat balik ngan tesis. rest pale jap. ti nak kena wat skrip kot2 ketaq lutut ti then ilang sgala jadah nak diperkata. silap2 nak kena tambah slide agi. harap2 akak senior dah puas hati ngan kejaku yang agak nak ok tapi diri sendiri tak brape nak sure ok ke tak..

isk2. banyak la jugak benda2 pelik berlaku sejak kebelakangan ni. ewah2!! and gerak ati or white people cakap intuition boley pakai. haha. benda2 yang tak kusangka terjadi. ada la 3 ke 4 benda. and ada 1 benda ni yang memang tak sure patut hepy or what. tapi macam hepy je. masalah ati, prasaan, jiwa, raga and bakul la korang. hehe. tapi nak hepy2 pon takde pasai. bukannye dapat pon. eh2!! dapat ke tak lak. cakap tak srupe bikin. cakap dah tak nak dia. hahaha

aish. jangan dilayan sangat otak yang ngah sewel ni korang2. ti makin parah. haha. tak sabar lak asenye nak tunggu saat kesewelan berhenti seketika *t abis degree la..

agi nak cakap ape??owh ya. balik hari tu singgah kat RnR Bintang Hijau. amat banyak insect yang pelik2 and unidentified *coz xtau name2 dia, name je zoologist aku ni..hahaha. ti la yer bila rajin akan diupload ke cni. tak berkeinginan sangat coz gambar2 tak brape nak jelas. kamera cap ayam..hahaha

k la dlu. saya mohon berundur diri. maaf dipinta jika ada salah dan silap *haha..gaya orang taip surat cinta?? k2 dah. pening ni. mau baring lu. silap2 esok pagi baru kembali ke alam nyata. hahaha. k2. tatitu ;p

'SIPUT' of nightmares!!!

when reading this entry title, people might say, "what the heck???" or even "'SIPUT'??". and i wanna start with a laugh. HAHAHA

being insanely cautious about finishing my final year project lately. ok2. i'm doing about 'siput'. and my title would be 'The Diversity and Distribution of land snails in Peninsular Malaysia!'. the problem is that i need to deal with so many samples and specimens. after all it is for the whole Peninsular! isk. i need to ID or identify them to genus level, but actually till species watsoever. huuu

feeling like crying actually. well, it's coz i had wasted so much of my time doing things that are unnecessary. and at last i need to leave out 1/3 of my samples as there would not be enough time. and now guess what?? what??? haha. i need to present my results and full data to my supervisor exactly in a week of time (it won't be a big prob if everything is ready....but...huuuu)

crying out loud JOM!! haha. at least i'm going home tomorrow. but not really having the great time of my life as i need to prepare everything for the presentation...

you guys wanna see some of my lovable snails??? (as if!! hahak)

my dear amphidromus

   my darling pollicaria

                                                                                                  my love cyclophorus

ok2 enough for now. enjoy the sight of my sweet pumpkins up there. and there are only 3 genus. while i need to deal with about 20 genera or more!! i think. haha

tchao friends..see ya in next entry...(i need to calm myself down here while thinking of so many undone jobs and works)  *-*

d unspeakable truth...

have you ever feel hatred?? well, i mean you really have the feelings that people hate you instead of you hate people. what an unbearable feelings to feel this way. and sometimes you will spend your precious time just to think what have you did wrong for you to be hated?? and in this case, people who care less about these small things would be the lucky one of saving mind and soul to think such things. and bravo to them!

it is very unfortunate for those who will think and think cracking their heads, what is wrong with me?? i've been hated?? why do people hate me so much?? what did i do wrong?? questions, questions and more questions *unlike the Q&A sessions since no answers are provided -__-"

being in this kinda situation would bring about consequences whether good nor bad. lets look into the bad side of it 1st, as surely it is greater. lowering the level of self confidence *ayat yg sguh skema gtu* which will lead to bad achievements or results, even badly coped with life. everything is bad, bad and bed again...ooppss!! tired tho.. other than that, trusting others will no longer be possible *well not totally zero but exactly low

there is a good thing about feeling hated. and it is 'a' good thing, only. we will try to fix what we feel that is wrong with ourselves *muhasabah diri in Malay* and probably will happen for someone who has a little tiny bit of positive thinking. now2 enough crapping. the ideas are all gone as i had stuck in the lab for about 7 hours!!! *pheewww :(

well, seriously, feeling kinda down today. many things happened which i haven't yet figured out what exactly did i do wrong. is asking or trying to make a conversation is illegal?? if it is, like how it is stated in the law of Malaysia, then only i will accept that it is my fault. losing is the other thing. a precious gem that you have always loved being stolen or dropped and breaking apart surely leave a painful scar to you. knowing that it would never be yours again, is such a terrible truth to be accepted..

life is unpredictable. you will be at the top only for few moments, but sinking at the bottom, well, you could possibly die drowning just waiting to be saved. it is only IF you could save yourself....

currently fresh!!

okie here we go. the first day of the new blog. and what should i be crapping about?? let see....lets hear a lil bit bout myself.  here's the details:

• name: iwa
• nickname: also iwa
• now a final year student of pure biology majoring in zoology *just guess if you don't really get the idea of it ;p
• a beginner in learning French *why should i include that?? -__-"
• 1st child out of two eventhough people always say that i don't look like one, but who cares!!
• age: supposed to be 22 this year but still a long way to go. so, kinda like 21 better ^_^
• currently a malacologist *i'm dealing with land snails for my final year project and they're cute tho!
• status: single but not available for special galfren title. if a marriage i would say YES!!! hahaha
• ex-student of SK Islah, SMK Dato' Ahmad Maher and Perak Matriculation College *Fatima Convent Kindergarten if that should be in the list
• other information should be asked! ~_~

that's enough about myself. owh music i like! rite. emmm.. sentimental pleaseeee!! haha. indie, taylor swift's, celine dion's.. ok i forgot! backstreetboys is what i love most! owh nick.... haha

i should be doing my thesis rite now but it seems like..... huuu. ok2. i should be strong. yes i should. plus, i'm having kinda difficulties rite this mo. seems so many problems and they really love my company. but you are tough rite! haha. k2 enough with the 1st entry eventhough it is actually the 2nd one. hihik

ciou frens ;)

here ye! here ye!

creating this blog is such a mess hard work. still have lotsa things to add just to make it more readable and fascinating. however, the process would take place from time to time. so stay tuned for more.

ideas and stuffs are really appreciated of what and how would make this blog an eyes-catching one. to friends and colleagues, if you guys feel free to drop by any comments, ideas and other generating info, please not to be afraid of doing so. your contributions would be such great helps! *i wish to put a smiling face here but i don't see one..haish ~_~